We've been together for years now and even though he can be a pain in the ass sometimes, we get along just fine. In fact, on our good days, I'd even say we get on like a pair of thieves at a thrift store.
Now I bet you can imagine my surprise when I come home today and he's got this new, innocent looking, green and still wet-behind-the-ears rookie for me to train. Well at that point you may have guessed, is when I start to assess and re-assess my list of talents that I bring to the table.
So, maybe I shouldn't complain so much when he asks me to nab some blood from the red cross drive on Saturdays.
Or, when I'm his wingman at his 'vampire hookups' in the park as he likes to call them, when we play 'cops and robbers'. To be honest, the streets are a lot safer with the amount of both we've cleaned from the streets. Safer for joggers to come out, which he likes to call 'fast-food'.
Maybe, just maybe, he even thinks that he can send someone else to the mortuary to pick out new coffins because he goes through them like a werewolf during puberty. He has a tendency to bring home 'live dates' on occasion, and they tend to like breaking the clasps which ruins the wood and the whole deal, or he destroys it himself with a thing he calls 'breakfast in bed'.
To think that I would have to train this new person how to speak Romanian to handle all his accounts and assets, which span back centuries. The excel spreadsheet on that alone is over a terabyte.
As I was mulling over these thoughts, a sudden feeling of peace washed over me as I felt the weight of the world lift from my shoulders. I wouldn't be in charge of any of those tasks anymore. Hah!
I then also realized that feeling of weightlessness went hand in hand with the pints of blood draining from my veins.
Hey, hey hey. Don't worry now. it's totally ok. I can just grab a pint from the fridge, I did stop by the drive this Saturday after all.
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